Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
