I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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