you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
