i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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