How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
