ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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