I'm laying in your front yard are you home
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
