you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize