what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
