i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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