I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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