Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
