this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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