Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
