Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
