I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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