In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
