Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
