she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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