I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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