i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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