she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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