I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
