there's paper in my vomit.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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