It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
