the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
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I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
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He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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