My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
