Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
