My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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