in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
