everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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