Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
even my farts smell like vagina
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
