Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
