There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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