pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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