so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dear god my vagina.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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