Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
