Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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