remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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