a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
