i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
His hands were made for my vagina.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
