I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
