i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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