i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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