Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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