I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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