Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE