Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened http://tfl.nu/l318
  Replies (23) Good night (1010) Bad night (7163)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Holy shit r u serious? How?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo
  Replies (156) Good night (7023) Bad night (41158)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know. http://tfl.nu/dzr5
  Replies (15) Good night (6836) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway. http://tfl.nu/e3fd
  Replies (7) Good night (2585) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in. http://tfl.nu/zr2p
  Replies (5) Good night (3020) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird? http://tfl.nu/uuel
  Replies (10) Good night (2342) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary. http://tfl.nu/tm81
  Replies (18) Good night (1017) Bad night (1678)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being http://tfl.nu/4klh
  Replies (1) Good night (891) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!" http://tfl.nu/8gr1
  Replies (9) Good night (1850) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it http://tfl.nu/xf5x
  Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public http://tfl.nu/nrsv
  Replies (5) Good night (546) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now. http://tfl.nu/b4q6
  Replies (5) Good night (1035) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on. http://tfl.nu/xowf
  Replies (9) Good night (781) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering. http://tfl.nu/3arq
  Replies (0) Good night (380) Bad night (189)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home http://tfl.nu/qybd
  Replies (5) Good night (378) Bad night (287)

Randomize