so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
