Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..

(720): View more from Colorado

yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures

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(858): i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume.. (720): yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures http://tfl.nu/ebwm

Replies (7) Good night (3012) Bad night (598)
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(801): View more from Utah

I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.

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(801): I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials. http://tfl.nu/rax4

Replies (19) Good night (3379) Bad night (676)
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(620): View more from Kansas

We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.

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(620): We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example. http://tfl.nu/aei8

Replies (23) Good night (5887) Bad night (732)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?

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(978): so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call? http://tfl.nu/91ao

Replies (29) Good night (695) Bad night (7532)
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(904): View more from Florida

5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.

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(904): 5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal. http://tfl.nu/ja8n

Replies (25) Good night (3001) Bad night (670)
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(917): View more from New York City

You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.

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(917): You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door. http://tfl.nu/b3vl

Replies (8) Good night (2312) Bad night (1105)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.

(1-205): View more from Alabama

Is it working?

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(205): I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless. (1-205): Is it working? http://tfl.nu/ozk1

Replies (17) Good night (4114) Bad night (1053)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

People are yelling about how much they want you here.

(563): View more from Iowa

I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.

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(651): People are yelling about how much they want you here. (563): I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled. http://tfl.nu/lpre

Replies (4) Good night (2447) Bad night (700)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am too young to be this hungover

(262): View more from Wisconsin

Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?

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(608): I am too young to be this hungover (262): Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th? http://tfl.nu/yoe0

Replies (5) Good night (676) Bad night (1061)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway

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(651): I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway http://tfl.nu/e0rj

Replies (2) Good night (1256) Bad night (419)
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(207): View more from Maine

It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.

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(207): It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective. http://tfl.nu/0c9h

Replies (6) Good night (1892) Bad night (456)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though

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(601): Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though http://tfl.nu/7jbg

Replies (25) Good night (1349) Bad night (2745)
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(847): View more from Illinois

A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover

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(847): A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover http://tfl.nu/j4ep

Replies (4) Good night (1228) Bad night (427)
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(406): View more from Montana

I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one

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(406): I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one http://tfl.nu/6xky

Replies (3) Good night (913) Bad night (394)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...

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(520): Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour... http://tfl.nu/y7yu

Replies (5) Good night (290) Bad night (818)

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