Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes

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  (216): My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes http://tfl.nu/wpjq
  Replies (8) Good night (1599) Bad night (795)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...

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  (313): Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this... http://tfl.nu/lox2
  Replies (10) Good night (806) Bad night (4472)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?

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  (847): another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/u1gt
  Replies (29) Good night (1177) Bad night (4626)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.

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  (207): I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/pgeg
  Replies (30) Good night (7142) Bad night (1176)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship

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  (954): Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship http://tfl.nu/znld
  Replies (8) Good night (1425) Bad night (3708)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.

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  (850): I don't remember much but I know I looked hot. http://tfl.nu/1lsd
  Replies (19) Good night (5979) Bad night (1083)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...

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  (404): Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash... http://tfl.nu/kodu
  Replies (10) Good night (930) Bad night (4787)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize

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  (610): Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize http://tfl.nu/2i2r
  Replies (8) Good night (712) Bad night (2601)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.

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  (407): And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword. http://tfl.nu/gcmk
  Replies (21) Good night (8712) Bad night (1095)
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  (415): View more from California

  i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth

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  (415): i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth http://tfl.nu/t0qb
  Replies (5) Good night (1320) Bad night (3594)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.

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  (731): Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us. http://tfl.nu/v50h
  Replies (6) Good night (2979) Bad night (784)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.

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  (423): Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you. http://tfl.nu/zkpt
  Replies (6) Good night (1627) Bad night (947)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion

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  (719): Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion http://tfl.nu/mw29
  Replies (9) Good night (1336) Bad night (987)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.

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  (704): he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears. http://tfl.nu/5pre
  Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (1066)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working

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  (613): You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working http://tfl.nu/3fis
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (581)

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