well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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