Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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