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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  Thanks dad.

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• (760): View more from California

  Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.

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  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.

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• (707): View more from California

  I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.

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• (760): View more from California

  I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  So much rum. So many feels.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.

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