So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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