Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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