you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
