I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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