I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
