then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
