I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
