Im at strip club and am horny
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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