i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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