Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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