Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
