you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
