So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
