Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
