D3 body, D1 cock
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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