Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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