absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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