rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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