yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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