So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
