He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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