I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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