A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
