Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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