Can i not drive my cunt home
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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