I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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