apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
